feeling proud, if not a little smug

I’m feeling proud, if not a little smug. I would prefer to feel a little smug, a small soft bovine creature from the wastes the Peruvian uplands. The reason I’m feeling this way is by exercising my right to vote. My right to vote for a selection of pasty faced men in ill fitting suits and over made up women, power dressed out of their minds. It was a long and tortuous route to my polling station in the uplands of Co Waterford. All transport leaves Dublin exactly on or before 5p.m. This can be detrimental to the working traveller. Did the previous government frown upon the movement of tax payers, preferring to trap them in one area by default? The choices were limited. I could either, Skip off work early, find some transport, get up early and find some transport back OR go home sit on my big lazy hole and mutter things like
‘Shor the same fellas always get in’
‘I’ll still have to get up and go to work no matter who runs the place’
‘There’s no difference between any of the parties these days (except the PDs who are evil, (GET BEHIND ME HARNEY!). Its not the first time she’s heard that sentence (saucy bitch) Just imagine Mary Harney, a tub of Hagen Das and a bottle of coke each…………….Ahhhh bliss.’
Where was I? Oh ya I was on my way to change the Government, rock the system or more realistically vote for some crazy bog man with a jaunty haircut. Some people have no rights to vote was my mantra as I trudged for the last train, trying to forget that I was going to be up at 5am to catch a train back to big old smelly fun dangerous handy interesting expensive Dublin. Did you notice how Enda’s hair looked green in his posters? Was he trying to capture the punk vote? I expect this didn’t work as all the Punks are anarchists. Maybe that’s what Kenny is up to. Pretend to be all normal and crazy in a very politician way and just when he wins……Whip out a sledge hammer and really smash the system. Leave the Dail in splinters.
I eventually got to my polling station miles from everywhere and realised there was no candidate in mid-Waterford promising to make the streets around my Dublin apartment safer or link up the Luas lines(which is a real no-brainer) or make a transport system that means I can actually get home to vote. I think a vote for sheep farmers was about as close as I could get. Maybe they will equip new Luas lines with wool stuffed seats? Democracy is about as good as it gets, but not as good as Mary harney, a packet of rancheros and two cold cans of fizzy orange…………….Ahhhhh Mary Baaaaaaaa!

Bobby Peru